My Disabled Veteran's Story Of Adversity

My Story, Military Service & VA Medical Malpractice

 
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Legally Speaking About Me And My Story Below

I'm walking a fine line telling my story. The classified site(s), event(s), and information that goes along with my story are just as important back then as they are today. To keep this story all about them, what they did to me, and how they treated me afterwards, I'll not be telling any secrets here. This story tells just how important I was to the whole, even with the contract that was signed between the USAF and I. A mostly one sided contract as you read my story.
 
Follow the rules, I did, doing the best job I ever could. Get hurt and they blamed me for getting hurt. When it is proven that I was not at fault, they got rid of me the most expeditiously way possible that favors only the military. Then, when I sought proper compensation and medical care, I entered into another fight for my life even though it's something that I am owed without question, something they promised from the start.
 
No matter what has happened to me while in the USAF and at the hands of the VA, my faith stands stronger than the evils that have been done to me. I hereby condemn anyone, including myself, taking violent action on my behalf and/or over my story. I have not given anyone permission to use me and/or my story publicly, this including and not limited to collecting any money, in anyway without my written permission.
 

The Supporting Documents For My Story Below

 My Documents
This “My Documents” link takes you to the documents that defines who I became starting early in High School and why the Government was so interested in me, Grooming me before I went into the USAF. These documents start with me being in High School and progress throughout most of my USAF career, up to being attacked.
 

Come, Read About My Darkest Secrets, Join Me In My Darkest Hour

I've lived since these life events below occurred, I didn't die, and everyone has struggles in their lives. Writing my story here is my therapy for my MSCDs, PTSSs, and the VA's Medical Malpractice. I have found trying to share my story any other way can causes skepticism, disbelief, goes on deaf ears, and that others don't care for me to repeat myself all the time. It's not that they didn't care about me and what I had been through, it's just that they never knew how to process and respond to it all.
 
Also, when a therapist at the local VA Outreach, what they now call a CBOC, started referring to me in their notes as a SHE, a female, I had finally had my fair share of trying to share my past with therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists. Yes, as you will read here, and, follow my colored link helps, I do have medical issues caused by chemical contamination while I was in the Air Force.
 
Due to my disabilities, this story has taken me many months to write, even more time to continually add edits, it's not perfect, and it will never be complete. My story below peels back the veil of secrecy on my life. Walk past the secret veil with me, see what happened to me, see how I felt afterwards, and read on how a new world, life was suddenly forced on me.
 

When Evil Things Happen To A Good Person

My life started out great until I went into the military, well most of the way through my 6 year contract. It was in my last tour of duty that violent things happened to me. Most military members get hurt by regular things that the military gets involved in. Not me, I was wounded by being Beaten Up, Anally Gang Raped, Thrown Into A Chemical Retention Pond, and Left For Dead.
 
How could this happen on a stateside U.S. Air Force Base? I was new to RAFB, as I had recently PCSed there for my new duty assignment, 5th CISG/CCG. Three other Military Members had taken an instant notice of me, like they knew me somehow, and offered me a tour of the Base.
 
Not to be rude, as I did have other things to do, I accepted their offer and they started showing me where different things were at. When they started to take me off what would be the regular highlights, I was suddenly forced to stay inside the vehicle. I would find myself being attacked.
 
My life long permanent Medical Problems, both physically and mentally, came from this October 1984 attack, by being Beaten Up, Anally Gang Raped, Thrown Into A Chemical Retention Pond, and Left For Dead by three Military Members. This while I was on active duty in the USAF, on a stateside U.S. Air Force Base, on RAFB, in Warner Robins, Georgia. My attackers would disappear quickly right after the attack.
 
At this time frame I was also told that I was missing several shots needed for me to be what they called 905 SEI Worldwide deployable. These shots were supposed to be administered with a week or two time frame between them. Well, that didn't happen, the time frame part. The Base hospital personnel would administer them all at once. This most probably added to my life long medical problems.
 

My Life Long Medical Problems From This Attack

My medical problems described below are not out of control, quite the contrary. I've learned how to control them through Natural Medicine years ago, yet, my enjoyment of life has to be controlled. This as to how often I go outside, how often I'm in the presence of others, no pets, enjoying good food, etcetera. Sicknesses are common from breaking the rules, the controls over my life.
 
I would have my first Heart Attack, Stroke, and Severe Edema while being retained in the basic care of the small RAFB Hospital. I'd be denied the ability to seek better medical attention elsewhere as I would be restricted to RAFB while they stabilized my conditions. I began to see that they didn't want what happened to me to get known outside of the base.
 
Well, in the beginning they were always testing me for Radioactivity. How I knew this was they were doing a lot of testing on me with equipment that had radioactive markings on them, the typical meter, speaker, and I watched them testing the equipment while it was making the usual noises.
 
They were always switching the speaker off, switching off the sound when they tested me. I was never told by them if I actually tested positive for Radioactivity. Well, with all the continuous testing I could only assume that I was testing positive in some way for some kind of Radioactive Chemical Compounds, and, being forbidden to leave the Base during the testing period.
 
While being retained in the small RAFB Hospital, I'd be introduced to the Base Psychiatrist. I would be Drugged and Psychoanalyzed by the Base Psychiatrist, trying his best to alter and suppress my knowledge of the attack. His highly targeted therapies didn't change me to his disgust and to the disgust of those who wanted this situation to summarily go away. The Base Medical Personnel continued to accuse me of Impropriety, no matter what I said, and they always treated me accordingly.
 
All damage to my Endocrine, Nervous, Respiratory, Immune, and Cardiovascular systems originated from the 1984 attack. The use of proper supportive hormonal therapy had to be used which the USAF first started. My body's ability to properly use supportive hormone therapy was always subverted by the Liver and Kidney damage from this 1984 attack.
 
I became Visually, Hearing, and Speech impaired from this attack. Blood pressure, blood sugar levels, stress, and abnormal exercise recuperation are things that quickly make these three conditions surface. The VA Provider's prescribed a Synthroid Overdose in August 2015 has made these three conditions harder for me to control. It's like a form of Dyslexia mixed with Vertigo that I can't shake off without abnormal rest periods.
 
What's interesting here is that the VA still prescribed that same Synthroid Overdose until October 2018, even though I have told them many times that I can't take that strong of a dose and that their tests are based on me taking a lower dose. I was forced into breaking the tablets into smaller pieces in order to get the right dose. You would figure that a VA Doctor and the VA would want to fix this, but they didn't until October 2018. Welcome to one instance of VA's Medical Malpractice of me.
 
I continue to have what another Doctor has called, Hyper Diabetic Syndrome. Even though this is not readily definable by regular medical practitioners, if my blood sugars go above 100 for any length of time, I loose energy to stay awake and I'll have abnormally long term sleep. This can cause frequent Narcolepsy episodes until I get my blood sugars go below 100 for a period of time.
 
These and many other medical problems came from being Beaten Up, Anally Gang Raped, Thrown Into A Chemical Retention Pond, and Left For Dead. I have had to live with telling many Doctors over the years another story for my medical problems just to get basic treatment without all the the questions into why the VA wasn't treating these conditions. Now it's the VA's Medical Malpractice of me that makes me want to stop using all unnatural medical treatment.
 

More History Into What Happened Soon After The Attack

Even with so many Medical Problems, Asthma and Rhinitis were the only Medical Problems the military allowed to stay on my Military Records, both of these being secondary medical side effects to being Thrown Into A Chemical Retention Pond, and, being Anally Gang Raped. Even being Beaten up and Left For Dead was removed from my records.
 
Yes, my Military Records, were altered before being Honorably Discharged less than a year later. This as I would also be denied reenlistment, even though my DD Form 214 said otherwise. You see, it was proven that I did no Impropriety, did not cause, initiate, or provoke the attack per Air Force Regulations. Yet, in the end, I was the one being punished by the ending of my USAF Career.
 
The cover up was to allow the completion of my Enlistment Contract as I was told. I was unusable to my assigned duty station, given time off and light duty basic jobs until the tour of duty ended. No APR would ever be issued for this time period, as I was having to use way to many non-deployable medications, I was always sick, and other reasons explained later in this story.
 
During this APR time period, I was assigned to the 5th CISG/CCG MRC-107A shop. I was already highly qualified on the MRC-107A and the AN/TSC-60 series vans from when I was in the European Theater, USAFE. While my 5th CISG/CCG shop was deployed, they left me with their two most problematic MRC-107As the 5th CISG/CCG had in inventory at that time to work on. These were the worst of their truly hidden worst.
 
They really didn't expect much from me, they just left me with them for busy work. These two MRC-107As looked and acted like they were a mixture of Cannibalized parts. Nothing on either of them worked right. All of the radios could not meet Technical Order specifications in the Jeep and on the test bench. I then knew that these two MRC-107As would be a challenge to do anything with through normal supply channel parts.
 
I got special permission from my chain of command within the 5th CISG/CCG and from the serving Depot on RAFB to order all the requested special parts that I was about to start ordering. I rebuilt those two MRC-107As, performing all levels of Maintenance, this including the jeep's supportive MRC-107A power systems, with help from vehicle maintenance, as they didn't meet system requirements at that time either.
 
When my shop had returned from their overseas deployment, they didn't believe that they were fixed. They took those two MRC-107As to the back side of RAFB for testing, beating the living hell out of them, testing all the radios, and afterwards all they could complain about was the cost of the parts it took to fix them. Well, I obtained permission from my chain of command to fix them. Even with me being very sick, I still took my job in the USAF very seriously.
 
These two MRC-107As would not have made it to Depot for such repairs because by the time they would of been sent, as I was informed afterwards, the USAF would of already been phasing them out. I gutted these two MRC-107As and restored them in about a month's time, which could of only taken place with the help of that special permission.
 
Most didn't realize the hours I put in on these two MRC-107As. How many times security would find me at the shop working after hours, checking in on me all the time as they did, and how we had traded some real Military Bull-Shit Stories (MBSS?) while repairing the two gutted MRC-107As. Even they questioned the disarray of MRC-107A parts laying around everywhere in the shop. It did at one point look like a mess, good thing that I did have the shop all to myself.
 
Well, having access to parts mostly right there on RAFB, helped speed up the repairs, one day parts ordered, next day parts delivered, sometimes same day! The repairs I performed would of taken almost a year to happen when I was in USAFE, mostly due to the time to get the special parts delivered.
 
Repairing these MRC-107As that I did would never be known about because of the refusal of the shop to write me a final APR. They had problems, issues with me being sick, how I was being treated, and things that they had no control over, by me being Rail-Roaded by High Ranking Officers temporarily assigned to RAFB to handle the attack.
 
OK, I understand, this is a lot to swallow. This cover-up happened because one of my attackers had a daddy high in the federal government food chain somewhere, so the only vocal attacker said at the time. This is why I feel all three of them disappeared so quickly. Daddy's little rapist boy got bailed out of the whole situation with his rapist friends.
 
I was simply told more about this one individual's background when I was required to witness my Military Records being altered by High Ranking Officers in a small office in the other end of the same RAFB base hospital, opposite side of the Emergency Room.
 
Why state all of this? It's simple. I was promised by these same High Ranking Officers that I'd be taken care of over the October 1984 attack. The promises of complete health care and full future financial compensation never happened. I was swept under the RAFB back door mat. The U.S. Government, the U.S. Air Force, RAFB, and the VA had let me down as a service member in the U. S. Air Force. They made me into a life long barely treated well Severely Disabled Veteran.
 
And since then, I've been walked on by the same ever since. The VA shouldn't be trying to make me worse by performing Medical Malpractice on me. This is why I learned Natural medicines from the beginning which also allowed me to stop using all prescribed drugs that had intolerable side effects, drugs that caused more problems then they helped.
 
How much better could I have been? With better medical care from the beginning I feel I could of still been a more productive person, still employed, instead of being completely unemployable now, thanks to the VA's Medical Malpractice. The only time I got any good medical care was with the jobs that I could hold for a short period of time throughout the many years.
 
Financially I could of paid for a place to stay when my Military MSCDs and PTSSs forced me into resting for extended periods of time, thus forcing me to live out of my car or begging to live on someone's couch off and on throughout the years. All of those who helped me never understood why I was so sick and I always had to offer them a different medical story.
 
So, it's now interesting looking back at one critical event. The U.S. Air Force Officer, the one that out processed me, told me that there would be a day in the future that I could tell my story, that I'd have a need to tell it, and to make sure I held onto a certain handful of key documents that he gave me. Those are provided in the special documents link above.
 
I secured those documents just for a time like now. He probably knew as I did, that those High Ranking Officers did make certain medical and financial future promises. It appeared that he had some sort of knowledge of what was going on and kept on reassuring me that I was going to be taken care of.
 
He would go on to tell me privately, off the record, that I was being Rail-Roaded. He then apologized for what he was being forced to do, out-process me from active duty instead of allowing me to reenlist for more, and that I would have to keep my mouth shut about the attack for a minimum of 20 years, that there are those involved here who could still make this a rough situation for me. A threat that echoed what the High Ranking Officers had said.
 
Turns out that it took me nearly 32 years before I could start saying anything about it. It's not so easy talking about being Anally Gang Raped and this one thing has always kept me silent on telling my complete story to anyone. Being demoralized in such a way by other Military Members, and then, those in charge of me, those you think should be helping me through this bad situation, attacked me again and again.
 

Was I Deliberately Attacked? Let's Discuss Some Coincidental Facts

There is some glue missing here in this story, story connections that were revealed during the office visit with the High Ranking Officers. I began to realize just how deep me being attacked went during that meeting in that little RAFB base hospital office. Without touching on any of the classified site(s), situation(s), and information that was also completely discussed, let me take you a little more deeper into what got me attacked, the RAFB Bureaucratic Financial Rabbit Hole.
 
Let me explain, hindsight always being 20/20. When I was in USAF Technical School, they were signing Airman up to do an overseas long tour, they were in need to fill vacant positions. If I did so, I would be guaranteed to have a choice of my next duty assignment. I did this, wishing now that I still had that paperwork. Well, when I finished my overseas long tour, I was then being assigned to 5th CISG/CCG, with no choices given.
 
I would apply for a different duty station per my paperwork and it would be denied. OK, so next, with the help of my Commander, He and I applied to extend my stay with my Squadron where I was at and extend my enlistment, it to would come back being denied. My Squadron Commander at the time couldn't believe what was going on. He even said this should of been a No-Brainer! The Squadron was always short on personnel like myself.
 
So, we, My Squadron Commander and I, enlisted the help of a One Star General at the 601 TCW to extend my stay in the European Theater, working directly under the 601 TCW, helping everyone in the Wing with their radios, extending my enlistment again, it too would be denied. Attached to the returned request was a cease, desist, and stop asking for this PCS change. This One Star General at that time would suddenly have nothing more to do with me.
 
So, yes, I was unusually forced into this last duty assignment. Is this everything? NO, there is more. Due to my abilities to maintain the very troublesome AN/TSC-60 series vans, several times I was called to Rhein-Main Air Base Frankfurt, Germany and Ramstein Air Base Ramstein-Miesenbach, Germany to show my proof to Rockwell International and others of my findings. Rockwell International was contracted to make and supply repair parts for the AN/TSC-60 series vans at that time.
 
Did I piss in a Federal Contractor's / Parts Supplier's free money pit? I think so, looking back I almost know so. The cost to support my van at that time dropped from tens to hundreds of thousands of dollars per year to thousands of dollars per year. This latter smaller figure, thousands of dollars per year, is what would be normal maintenance costs per the written contract over the vans provided by the contractor / supplier.
 
I know that this made the Chief Of Maintenance at my Squadron very happy, even my Squadron Commander. The 601 TCW always did surprise tests on me all the time to see if my van was really up and working, something at that time called Green Status. I would be woke up at all hours of the day to do field support for those doing exercises, Multiple Autovon Patches Over HF. The van I was assigned to was regularly used to backup the normally failing primary supported paths.
 
I did my job for the Air Force, and, when asked to show the equipment supplier what I had found to keep these vans running, I was dismissed by them. Yeah, that's right, they dismissed me as unknowledgeable, untrained, and unqualified. Let me just tell everyone here reading this that Rockwell International was also a contractor associated with RAFB at that time.
 
Now, Do you understand that this whole situation appeared to be setup for me? For me to be Beaten Up, Anally Gang Raped, Thrown Into A Chemical Retention Pond, and Left For Dead by three Military Members to take place on RAFB? I can't accuse anyone of setting this up, I still don't know who to accuse, I don't have any names, just a lot of faces. Yet, I am still presenting these extra connected events that lead up to the attack in October 1984, because the High Ranking Officers made them important at that office meeting.
 
Do you now understand the latest VA's Medical Malpractice of me? Could this be deliberate also? Is someone from back then, now finds out that I'm still alive and that they could be scared that I might offer up some compelling information like I just did here? The VA came to me in 2009 telling me they were looking for me, to give me health care, I didn't have to seek them out.
 
Why did the key people involved in this mysteriously disappear after the attack? Why did the Air Force step in to cover this up? Who else was involved? Why did the Air Force make me take this duty assignment anyway? Who knew what when? I wonder, how much money was spent for these things to happen to me? How much did it cost to cover it up? Who was paid to commit such acts against a Military Member, me, on an stateside Air Force Base?
 
Well, I can only share these added basic facts here and questions. It's just very interesting, hindsight always being 20/20, that this shows a target being placed on my back. After a certain base hospital meeting, these facts above did quickly become more relevant to me. This is just adds another reason why I have stayed quiet all these years. Who knows, could I've been attacked again? Could I still be attacked? Am I still being attacked in some way through the VA?
 

I Was Groomed To Be Employed By The U.S. Government

My career in the U.S. Government was to start with the military and go from there, being a Veteran first helps. I was Groomed throughout my schooling to work for the Federal Government as I have testable Hyperthymesia and other valuable talents which is why certain government agencies wished for me to do secret work for them.
 
It was special help in late 2016 that broke this 32 years of secrecy, this special help allowed me the ability to finally tell my story more completely. This special help was given to me just after another unusual round of debilitating VA Medical Malpractice happened in mid 2015.
 
No one in charge of my Grooming ever expected me to be attacked this way stateside. All of this was just as much as a surprise to them as it was for me. NO, my Groomers were not connected in anyway to the reasons behind the October 1984 attack. They were just helping me afterwards get good proper medical attention.
 
If there wasn't outside advocates stepping up for me, my Groomers having my “SIX” from the outside of this Air Force Base, I'd for sure been Rail-Roaded to a greater extent of a Bad Conduct Discharge over me being attacked. Yes, I said that right, “Me Being Attacked.” The way the Base Personnel were treating me at the time were overwhelming clues.
 
I seriously believe that due to the intervention of my Groomers, the end result of this nightmare was changed. I'll tell you here, they, my attackers, didn't expect me to report the incident in the fisrt place, let alone did they expect me to survive as they did leave me for dead in that containment pond.
 
The October 1984 attack caused a loss at having promised future fulltime jobs within certain government agencies and the loss of many regular civilian jobs over the years. Even so, through all of this, I was still held to high levels of silence and secrecy for quite a long time, this until I was released from parts in late 2016, thus this allowing me seek better medical care over the October 1984 attack.
 
Out of this October 1984 attack were certain things at this Air Force Base circumvented? The answer is YES. Though they will most probably never admit it, things of a highly classified nature were uncovered as they had major classified leaks. It was these leaks that allowed for me to become attacked on the Base in October 1984.
 
The Base intelligence operations would be turned upside down and inside out. Many were reassinged, demoted, lost pay, others were forced out of the military, a few served time. And, in the end, I was watched heavily, followed everywhere I went on the Base, until I was out processed from this duty assignment and the military. I was not supposed to know these facts, facts given to me many years later.
 

How I Survived All Of This And More Still

I think this needs to be said, I don't have AIDS, HIV, or any other STD for that matter, I still get tested regularly because of this attack. I've never been Gay or Transgender, though often to this day I'm still falsely accused. Due to being Beaten Up, Anally Gang Raped, Thrown Into A Chemical Retention Pond, and Left For Dead, this being all of my MSCDs and PTSSs, any normal relationships with females has been ever since, problematic at best, and they just don't understand.
 
If it wasn't for a Naturo-Homeopathic Doctor back home, I'm sure that I'd of passed on years ago. That this Doctor secretly helped me understand and use natural medicine to purge most of the Toxic Chemical Compounds from my body soon after the attack, yet, as he said, the long term damage to my body was already done. I was given some time off, accrued leave at the time, to get better, which, is when I saw the Naturo-Homeopathic Doctor soon after the attack.
 
This when no other regular Doctor at that time would help me once they found out how I had become sick. Really, most Medical Doctors had no clue in how to treat my new medical conditions and those that tried, like the Base Medical Personnel, the medicines always caused more severe debilitating side effects, like them causing my first stroke at the time of my first heart attack.
 
It was my Groomers that secretly connected me with a Naturo-Homeopathic Doctor back home. Many thanks to a Naturo-Homeopathic Doctor, that their medical code of ethics meant more to them than the warnings they got not to treat me all when it was finally found out that they may have been helping me all those years ago.
 

An Important Overview Of These Events

 W. R. Pelfrey
Ok, I know, you have already seen this picture of me. Let me tell you about when and why it was taken. Due to the VA Medical Malpractice, over my diabetes treatment from beginning 2010 to mid 2011, by early 2012 I was considered no longer employable due to the new VA caused medical problems. So, I decided I was going to create a home recording studio to record the songs I had written lyrics for.
 
By mid 2013, the VA would strike again. This time I'd spend almost 8 months recuperating from using bad insulin the VA had sent me. It wasn't that the Insulin was bad when they shipped it, it was how they shipped it to me. Sending three months worth of Insulin without cool packs via three day shipping by USPS makes this three months worth of Insulin, 6 vials, completely worthless in the warmer months.
 
This picture above was professionally taken early in the summer of 2015 to start the creation of my music. Later in 2015 I had finally setup my home recording studio and was about to start recording my songs. This is when a VA Provider decided to prescribe a Synthroid Overdose. By September 2015 I cold no longer speak properly, my ability to sing was damaged. My hearing and eyesight were also damaged by this.
 
Those who see this picture see me at a time that I still hadn't given up on doing something special with my life. Though these VA caused medical events stalled my new path, I hope to someday resume this choice in some way, still using my abilities around my disabilities. I use this picture to remind me and others of a better time in my life before the VA caused my newer medical problems.
 
You see here, I had to explain how I could be a severely disabled veteran from a time where there was no real wars going on. I gave you detailed history into my darkest secrets. This to help establish why I've been so sick all these years and how I was forced to take care of myself because of promises the USAF never kept.
 
I then show you what happened when the VA finally allowed me to have government medical care 25 years after the fact, if it could be called such. This almost makes me feel like the Classified Information that I know from back then, which is still very relevant today, is now not protected from dissemination.
 
This as, if the USAF can break their promises to me from back then and the VA can do what they have done to me medically, why can't I tell all of their relevant dirty little secrets now?!
 
Yeah, I kept quiet for many years. Let me add another reason why I did so, a quick dirty little secret. The lower ranking Officer that walked into the room after the classified briefing part of the Base Hospital meeting was over, looked exactly like my one attacker who had info into things he shouldn't of had. Yes, one of my rapists appeared to be made a witness to what will happen next to me.
 
Yup, it appeared to me that one vocal rapist was a RAFB Officer, that now stood in front of me helping the USAF finish in the covering up of me being attacked.
 
When you beat a horse, it eventually knows what to do. When you keep on beating it, it knows that no matter what it does, it gets beat. So, it just lays down and takes the beating, as, it's easier to take the beating laying down. I'm doing my best not to just lay down even with all the different kinds of beatings I have received at the hands of the federal government.
 

From All Of This, Could Paranoia Be Rationalized? 

OK, now IF I was paranoid... First, the US Air Force basically left me for dead, to quickly die, all I ever got from them was restricted medical care. Second, The Civilian Doctors that I asked for help usually would not help me after they checked into my medical history, they then left to die. Third, The VA back in 1985/86 refused to help me medically, they left me to die.
 
Fourth, and finally, in 2009 when I was suddenly allowed VA medical care, the VA's Medical Malpractice of my case started to happen immediately of which no Doctor would ever do without knowing that they would be surely sued. It felt like they were out to make me have more Medical Problems and out to help make me die sooner than later.
 
Well, one can't sue the Federal Government, complete case closed, right? Now switching paranoid rant mode back to off... I can't live in state of paranoia over all of this, it's not healthy, and I did say, IF I was paranoid. Also, everything here turns coincidences into facts, no need to even think about it being paranoia!
 

What Didn't Kill Me Just Made Me Stronger

At least these secrets are no more, there I've said it. I've confronted one of my most guarded secrets and fears, telling about being sexually assaulted, Anally Gang Raped. Many wondered why I acted so strangely or different over the years, this is the main reason why. My sensitivities to all kinds of situations involving others always brings me back to this one time frame, October 1984.
 
This should help those who wish to interact with me, that I have many triggers, and when I shutdown on them, it's nothing personal. Out from all of this I know I am a very special person. I have much more to offer and I'm working on just that. Hopefully soon I'll have my own artistic works to share with everyone throughout the world.
 
I just have to do everything now within the scope of my military and VA caused disabilities. My many medical conditions, now as disabilities I didn't ask for, still don't compare to the many abilities I still have. I'm still looking to do something positive with what's left my life.